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I am a 44 year old male and I lost my father when I was 12 years old. Growing up without a father was challenging. My memories of his suffering with kidney disease left me with guilt. I felt guilty that I said no to him when he asked me to stay home on a day when he was seriously ill. To come back from school to find him hospitalised from a hypertensive crisis pierced a hole in my heart.

Being told that I wasn't good enough made me wish he was alive so that he could protect me from such breaking words. Words that broke me from the inside. Words that concreted emotions like anger, hatred and distaste. It turned me into somebody who could not accept love. I pushed people away and kept them at a distance to prevent them from leaving me. Just like my father had left me.

One day, for some unknown reason, I frowned at a beautiful girl who was interested in talking to me. I was busy telling myself I was ugly, and I was busy thinking of my haters. Busy hating them back and my chances with that girl ended. My negative energy that had filled me up over the years made me push away the people that yearned for a place in my heart.

I enjoyed being alone. I married another beautiful woman, and I have two beautiful children. Children who were now becoming the subject of my toxic nature - my anger. I knew I had an amazing side to me.

My wife had seen sparkles of that amazement during my limited moments of clarity, and she pleaded for me to get help so that I can share with the world what I have to offer. She is an avid follower of Instagram accounts that focus on mental health and how to become a good parent.

She found me Helen through a recommendation. Believe me I when I tell you that my suffering had culminated to the point where I was overdosing on Paracetamol in secrecy. It had!

I had talked to other therapists before but failed to achieve any resolve with my issues that were pressing down on me like a heavy weight.

I decided to pursue Helen after explaining to myself that there must be medicine for the mind, just as there are medicines for the body for conditions like hypertension and diabetes.

I have now been working with Helen for about 4 months and with all the resources she has imparted to me through her therapy, I have the following:

- 80% less intrusive thoughts
- 95% less anger
- my children are showing huge change in their behaviour
- my relationship with my wife is much better
- I have resources to interrupt my negativity and I am living with much more presence than I have ever done
- I am so happy and I smile so much
- in the last 4 weeks, I have shed weight and dropped from 88kg to 80.7kg

I still have my down days, but I can quickly snap out of them with the resources from her therapy.

Thank you, Helen, for not giving up on me when I would tell you that I no longer wanted therapy and I'd block you on WhatsApp. If I hadn't continued to receive your help, I would be a lost soul.

Thank you for everything you've done for me. I really do believe that you saved my life because I was proximal than ever to ending it.

 

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